I haven’t posted in quite some time because I’m busy shitposting on Twitter. It’s no surprise, if you’ve read this, that I’m 100% against the lunacy currently in the White House.

Having a degree in poli sci/international affairs keeps my brain locked on current events. I won’t get into all that because seriously, it’s all on my twitter account and I don’t feel like typing out a Stephen King novel.

I’m using this platform, since I can’t really do it elsewhere, to say I’ve applied for a new job.

It just fell into my lap today. The husband has a friend that lives in our little community that works in a school five minutes from my house. It’s a charter school, which I have so many thoughts about, but they’re looking for a computer lab teacher for middle school and high school students. Did I mention it pays more than double my current wage? It does.

Plus, I get to work with kids again.

I got into this gig over ten years ago and fell in love with working with these little weirdos. When I was 26, I started out as an assistant. Back in those days, your job was to put up bulletin boards and grade papers.

As time went on, my job changed to working one on one with students and eventually being in charge of RTI. After two principal changes, my newest didn’t appreciate my assertiveness and I was ‘fired’ unceremoniously by a voicemail.

I was then rehired by my favorite principal as a kindergarten assistant. After three weeks, he brought me into his office and asked if I would be interested in teaching computer lab. His wife was my former coworker and I fixed her computer many times. The former computer lab teacher quit because shockingly, teaching kids is way different than teaching adults.

Thus began my fun foray into teaching an actual class. I loved it so much. I loved my kids, I wanted to strangle my kids at times, but they were the best. I think we had a blast.

My principal let me know that other schools in our corporation were unhappy that we had a computer lab program and they didn’t. He swore that he wouldn’t let anything change as long as he was in charge.

He retired. It changed.

The first year was kind of madness. It’s hard to be the tech person in a school so large but also teach. It was also difficult knowing the other specials teachers made more than double me. I stayed and have always stayed because I love my kids.

The last two years, I was taken completely out of the classroom.

So many of our kids don’t even know me and I hate it.

I have loyalty to a corporation that doesn’t feel the same for me. After ten years, not even a card.

Towards the end of this school year, I found out my position was changing more. I would no longer be required to do duties and I was no longer allowed to cover classrooms. I was officially technology and under their umbrella.

No pay change though. That would come later with more training and certifications.

I was getting a fancy office though. It’s probably a closet, but that’s okay.

This thought of changing positions has been nagging at me for a few years but it’s so hard to make that leap. I don’t want to disappoint and it makes my anxiety go through the fucking roof.

The husband’s friend told him about a position opening at his school. It’s a computer lab teaching position and it’s five minutes from my house. As I said above, it pays more than double what I make.

In my most Grey’s Anatomy way: This is me, taking a chance on myself. I’m my person.

I sent an email of interest to the principal. The husband’s friend emailed me and said they would text the principal tomorrow and I have a great shot of getting the position.

I’m nervous and kind of freaked out.

Now I have to update my resume which I haven’t done in more than a decade. I don’t even know what I’m doing. I don’t know how to interview, I don’t know how to do anything.

What I’m most nervous about is if I get this position, how do let down a whole lot of people.

Sometimes I hate having a conscience.