It’s not a major shock that my mornings are brought to you by:
Misty runs on Dunkin’. The funny thing about my coffee consumption is that I can fall right back asleep after drinking a big massive cup of coffee noms. Caffeine just doesn’t have the same effect on me as it does on others. It wakes me up but it’s more habit than anything.
I have this problem that I wake up at 6am and just like to lounge on the couch. I’ll check my Facebook and other sites that I just heart oh so much and I watch the local news. Let’s not forget taking the dogs out. See, the thing about our backyard is that it’s fenced in, except for the gate. Our home was bought by an estate sale. I have many amazing stories about the woman that used to live in our home, but I’m going to concentrate on the one crappy thing. Our gate was sold at an estate sale. Every year, I get all ticked off, usually in the winter, that “Dammit Donny, we need to get a gate for this damn thing!” It gets old very quick to sit with the dogs so they can do their business…and roll in bird, squirrel, random crap.
If you want to creep our house on Google streetview, you can see why we would need to spend a lot of money to get a new gate. Such a pain in the rear. Thankfully, the Dunkin’ keeps me happy.
I am a morning person. There, I said it. I love naps, obviously, but it doesn’t matter if it’s the weekend or vacation, I’m up at the butt-crack of dawn. I make my morning coffee and like to sit and watch the news until around 7:30. That’s when I realize: “Holy shit; I need to get the show on the road!” Then I procrastinate some more and finally drag my butt into the shower. Is there nothing more glorious than a morning shower?
I’ve tried to take a shower the night before work, but it’s just not the same. Plus, if you’ve seen my hair, you know that it has the tendency to turn into Mufasa at any moment. I don’t know what I do in my sleep, but it has to be crazy. I have thick crazy eyebrows anyway, but when I wake up, they stick up all over the place. I also have the one side of my head that’s sticking up and frizzy.
Donny had a saying when we were dating/living in sin:
“Go to bed with a diva, wake up with Medusa.”
Somehow I married that guy. He has a point, but still .
By 8 am, I’m running around like an idiot and trying to finish getting ready so I can get out the door by 8:30. (Plus, I need to finish my coffee and refill for the drive to work)
I know the east side of Indy gets a lot of crap, but really people. Let’s just focus on Washington Street. You may see hookers and methed out crazies, but I see awesomeness. It makes an interesting drive downtown. Let’s not forget the one IPS bus I always seem to get stuck behind. It doesn’t matter when I leave, this bastard haunts me.
Then I get on 70 and this happens:
WHY?????!!!! Every damn morning.
You really think you can hear the other commuters’ glee when the cop gets off on an exit and traffic resumes to its normal speed of Autobahn. It is Indy after all.
*I get to work la la la la la*
Drive home.
Such a glorious time. I think everyone decides that they had a crappy day and they just want to get home so 80mph is the way to be. Until…
Who designed this? Really? I always think how funny it would be if my mother were with me when I was driving home. You know the bar on the roof of the car for your dry-cleaning and stuff? I’m sure many of you have names for this, but my mom calls it the “Oh shit bar.” She’s not used to driving in the city and usually closes her eyes whenever I’m behind the wheel. This also applies when I’m back home and driving in the country. I mean really, country roads are meant to be sped down. It’s science.
This clusterfark of a free entrance/exit is the coup de grâce of my commute. It’s really about a 1/2 mile to get from where I am to where I need to be going 55 all the way to 20 mph. Whoever designed this fantastic route, gets my one-finger salute. You sir, are a true jerk-off.
So yes, I get to my fantastic exit by downtown and get to see all my hooker and methed out friends on Washington Street before I get to my awesome area of Irvington filled with families, bike riders, runners, football practice, and farting unicorns.
I despise you commute.