I have quite a list of movies that I really love and have to watch when they’re on tv. Demolition Man is definitely one of them. That’s what I have been doing this lovely day.
Yesterday was an annoyance but it went well. I had to drive to Cincinnati for my SIL’s couples shower. I really want to know what bellend came up with all the hoopla bullshit that surrounds weddings, babies, etc.
Carrie Bradshaw really took a up a notch when she had her shoe shower in SATC.
Yesterday was also the day I finally heard back from the toolbelt planning the bachelorette party. Everyone had been trying to get a hold of this girl and we heard nothing. She wants to plan alllll this shit for next weekend and two of us live out of state. We kind of need to know the game plan. I sent an email a few weeks ago asking what hotel she was looking to book so I get my own room.
Nothing.
Not that I had to stay at the same hotel, Cincinnati is just kind of spread out so I needed some general area on where the party HQ would be. She finally sends out the email and then emails me directly that she could only get one room because Cincy PRIDE is going on that weekend. “Hopefully it will be okay for one night! 🙂 ”
Eat shit.
She also made sure to tell everyone, “Let me know what you guys want to do so I can finalize everything!”
I haven’t lived in Cincinnati in 10 years and the place has changed kind of dramatically over the years. What was once a scary area downtown, is now a bustling area much like Broad Ripple here in Indy. The only finalized place we’re going is Lachey’s Bar.
This freaking tool.
I have a weird profound hatred for this guy. When I was at UC he would always attend basketball games and the announcers would fanboy over him calling the team “Nick Lachey’s Bearcats.” This fucktard didn’t even go to UC – he went to Miami. Plus, he has the stupid barbed wire tattoo. That alone puts him in tool territory.
While at the shower yesterday, my SIL made sure to tell me to get ready for shots and partying our asses off. I told her mom I’ll make sure to keep my drinking to a minimum and to take care of her. The party itself yesterday was nice and her husband to be’s family seems very sweet. The SIL was asking for advice for her wedding day and I told her to make sure she eats something before the ceremony. Before I walked down the aisle, I almost passed out. Our wedding was late in the day and all the rushing around caused my brain to malfunction and I forgot all about necessary things like eating. As I was telling her this, the husband’s step-mother decided to chime in, “Who got you food? You were at our condo and everything was free.”
The caterers, you twat.
She loves to remind everyone how tiny our wedding was and just “how little” it cost. That was the point, princess.
She’s just the worst person in the world and has the personality of a Kardashian. One of the main reasons I’m so glad we live in a different state. The funny thing is that my FIL’s ex-wife was there because you know, mother of the bride. She’s hilarious and just nice to talk to because she understands the situation completely. Thank god for her being there yesterday or else the step-mother would have monopolized my time. She had already got her slams in when she noticed I was wearing my baseball lacelets. “I refuse to give money to her. The boys weren’t invited to the wedding and I’ll never forgive her for that. They’re so cheap looking too and so expensive. Ridiculous idea.”
For the record, no kids were invited to the wedding she’s speaking of. Not everyone has tons of money to throw at weddings and kids add a huge cost to catering. For some reason she took this as a personal slight so they didn’t attend the wedding. Pretty shitty thing to do of my FIL considering the groom is his only nephew.
That’s just one of the bullshit things that makes her a horrible person.
As I was leaving, I had to go through the same rigamarole that I always do with her. No, I can’t stay. Yes, I have dogs and a 16 year old cat. “Can’t you just put diapers on them? That’s what we do with our dogs.” Yes, I’m aware, and no, no I can’t.
I could write an entire novel on this woman and Joan Crawford would still look like a more relatable person.
I returned home from Cincinnati around midnight. The husband stayed so he could be with his dad on Father’s Day. As I pulled into the driveway, I noticed a flash of white. Holy shit, my poor cat Gizmo had been outside by herself the entire time I was gone. She must have ran out as we were closing the door. She came running up to me meowing and purring. I felt like such a dick. As I unlocked the door, I could barely open it. Damn dogs got into the trash and created a trash dam in front of the door.
After cleaning that up, giving my cat tons of cuddles, I called it a night around 2am. I woke up in a puddle of drool and Gizmo sleeping on my back.
The rest of this day I’m not planning on doing anything. I need to see if I can find a hotel room, because no, sharing a room with 5 other chicks is not going to happen. Other than that, pajamas and binge watching OITNB is on the menu.
Hooray lazy Sunday.