Bandwagon fan.

Don’t believe me? Try it out on someone who has any kind of loyalty to any team.  It could be soccer, rugby, football, baseball or even darts. This will be the result:


I’m actually a librarian.

 

It could be even the most mild-mannered person you know; it could even be your grandmother. She loved Johnny Unitas and Mayflower is one word you dare not speak, even under your breath.

 

This is what our dear Indianapolis Colts are dealing with right now.  It’s actually quite delightful to me – not the losing – the people losing their absolute shit on total strangers.  I’m pretty easily amused and I love sports like no one’s business.  I’m not sure what it is with sports that makes people so unreasonable.  Even before the Colts started losing, the message boards were alight with people screaming about bandwagon fans and how they’ll always bleed BLUE!!!1111Eleventy18!!

Forever alone.

Without even mentioning the fact that the Indianapolis Colts have only been the Indianapolis Colts for 30 years, what exactly do these people get out the deal? Is it smugness? I’m not quite sure what makes someone better than someone else for the simple fact that they still support the losing home team. It’s even better when two people are going back and forth.  It’s like a tennis match of insults:

I’ve been a Bengals fan for many years and would go to games quite a bit…it was free.  Most sane people don’t want to spend over $100 on tickets, $10 on beer, and another grand on food if they’re not going to see a spectacle on the field.  Well, us Colts fans are seeing a spectacle, but not the one we were hoping for.  The best is when fans start calling for the firing of everyone involved with the team.  I’m surprised I haven’t seen a facebook group pop-up for the firing of the cotton candy guy.  That guy’s a real dick and I know he sees me waving at him but he just ignores me. (This aside is for Bengals fans because we know Mike Brown is just trolling us.  That guy is the master of being King Shit of Turd Mountain.)

I guess my point is sports fanaticism is funny to me.  I know we’re nowhere near the rest of the world in terms of crazy per capita of soccer fans.  That’s actually terrifying and I’ve witnessed it in person.  Nothing will make you run quicker than a Roman lighting off an actual Roman Candle in a crowd of a million people because they won the World Cup.  On a side note, we saw a guy wearing a Ki-Jana Carter jersey at the celebration.  Who-Dey!!

Just remember, at the end of the day (ooooh do I hate that phrase, but it applies here), these players know they suck, know everyone’s pissed at them, but they go home and sleep on their big piles of money.  Meanwhile, the fans have each other to yell at and point fingers and say how their point is so much more relevant because they were fans when the Mayflower trucks were being unloaded.

Peyton Manning frowns upon your shenanigans.

Take it from any sports franchise that’s been along for a while and has hit a rough patch or two, there’s always next year. Now everyone hug it out and apologize…except for you St. Louis Cardinals, Yankees, Patriots, or Steelers fans.  You can suck it.